Author Archives: William Kostakis

About William Kostakis

William Kostakis is the award-winning author of Loathing Lola.

I heart authordom


Given the tone and content of my last couple of posts – I figured I’d step back, rest the snark and just reflect.

It’s easy to lose sight of why I do this, authordom, I mean, what with the uni deadlines, the work deadlines, the publicity organisation, the interviews, and the piss-weak transcontinental blogger feuds. But every so often, I have a moment that grabs me by the hair and thrusts me back into the body of the Year One student who stood in front of his K-2 Assembly and read from his exercise book, the boy who looked up to see the 60-odd faces watching, the boy who knew then and there that this was what he wanted to do for the rest of his life: tell stories.

This afternoon, I had a moment. I Skyped with students at a Japanese international school. Just how surreal a thing it was to do only dawned on me after I closed the chat window. Books disappear. With initial sales like those it had, Loathing Lola probably should’ve disappeared. Heck, I’m thankful for every new Australian reader, but to spend 30 minutes of my day talking to kids I’ll probably never meet, in a place I’ve never been, in a country other than my own? Surreal!

I am truly thankful for my authordom path. Yes, Rowling-level success would have been nice, but I can’t say I’m not fortunate. 10 strangers Skyping with me about my writing mightn’t buy me a castle, secure me webhits, a new book deal, or a movie adaptation, but you know what?

It’s the reason why I’ll be writing all night.

So, I failed my Ps…


I performed an ‘illegal act or manoeuvre’. I know what you’re thinking: I went the wrong way down a one-way street, targeting and mowing down pedestrians for 500m, before capping it all off with a few burnouts and some curb-mounting.

I turned right too early.

Yes, that’s right. The Instant Fail offence. I turned right too early. I asked if it was against the law. It’s not. Then how is it ILLEGAL?!?!

I’m off to write a bitter poem about the RTA.

Omegle lulz


Omegle is made of awesome. For those of you that haven’t heard of it, Omegle connects you to a random person on the website, and you have a one-on-one conversation. I’m not gunna lie to you, it usually ends in some for of harassment, which is half the fun. So, give it a go. I’ll post up some of my chat-logs, and don’t forget to copy your logs, no matter how rude, in the comments section. 🙂

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: I COMMAND YOU
You: HI
Stranger: BRING ME CHEESEBURGERS AND COLA
You: No.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Then…

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: I COMMAND YOU
You: NOT U AGAIN
Stranger: BRING ME CHEESEBURGERS AND COLA
Stranger: NOW
You: IS IT WORTH IT
You: LET ME WORK IT
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Okay, that conversation was the beginning of what I’ve come to describe as MissyElliotting, it’s sorta like getting RickRolled, only five bajillion times more infuriating. It’s where I try to get through as much of the lyrics of Missy Elliott’s insanely nonsensical Work It before someone disconnects. In the interest of good taste, I’ve censored some of the lyrics, but rest assured, it was copied into Omegle in all its… ‘glory’.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hiii
You: is it worth it?
Stranger: brazil
Stranger: i from
You: let me work it
You: i'll put my thang down
You: flip it
You: and reverse it
You: it'syerfrempennifferswhetnyetcommon
You: i'd like to get to know ya so i can show ya
You: put my <BUNNIES> on ya like i told ya
You: gimme all yo numbers so i can phone ya
You: yo girl actin <BUNNIES> then call me ovah
You: not on your bed
You: <BUNNIES> me on your sofa
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

One guy saw my Missy Elliott, and raised me some Las Ketchup.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: is it worth it?
Stranger: sorry?!
You: let me work it.
You: i'll put my thang down, flip it and reverse it
Stranger: ja
You: it's yerfrempenniffers whet nyet cmon
Stranger: THE KETCHUP SONG
You: ...
You: IILLLL A CANTAAAA...... I SAID A HEH
You: HAH
You: DE HEH
Stranger: HEEEEH
You: AHEMME SEE YOU NO A MMMAAAA HAMMY
Stranger: HARRY?!
You: AMMMMAAA YOUSSEE AMMMA BAAAABBBABABAAA SEEE
You: LAS KETCHUP WERE LOL
You: ... mudkip.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

For those who have successfully suppressed the memory… The Ketchup Song:

… Amazing.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hiyyyya
You: is it worth it?
You: let me work it
Stranger: maybe hehe!
You: ill put my thang down
You: flip it and
Stranger: revferse it
You: YES
You: OMFG
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

This is horribly addictive…

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: is it worth it?
Stranger: sure is
You: let me work it
Stranger: go to it
You: i'll put my thang down, flip it and reverse it.
Stranger: keep going
You: it'syourfrempennifferswhetyet common
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Arrgh! Fail. Back to manuscript… I’ll try again tomorrow. I will get to the verse, even if it’s the last thing I do…